Phonophobia, my social life, and my holidays..
It's been quite a significant time since my last post - somehow I just never got around to posting an entry - I wasn't in the mood, had too much other stuff to do, had just been through a humiliating event I didn't want to recount here... I had every excuse. Either way, I'm back for the moment, and will try and fill in the gaps of the last month or so..
My holidays were predictably boring - I spent virtually all the time at home alternating between Diablo 2, UT2004, and my collection of Stargate DVDs. I did on one occasion go out with some of the Seven (actually Six, for future reference - Xeon-Dingo is not a games student, despite my initial belief. Five if you don't count me). Had a great time that day - I felt a little bit left out at first, but soon I got into the swing of things. Also I went over to Brad's house one weekend - the first time in quite a while. Had a great time that day - I feel like it revived a friendship that may have otherwise died out. However, I haven't called lately - I'll explain why later. Other than those two great social events, however, my holidays were generally boring. Nonetheless, semester 2 has begun, so I'm not so bored anymore. I got in contact with the Five again at a lecture on Monday - we had lunch together, despite being kicked out of a cafe for some miscellaneous and completely unknown reason (something to do with tables, and takeaway... my parents seem to know what it is, but they can't explain it and have it make sense). Nonetheless, we intend to get together for our one and only Games Studio 2 assignment.
For the moment, I'm still sort of on holidays, despite semester 2 having already started. CS (computer science) subjects don't start until week 2, and apparently all my subjects are CS-based, so I get an extra week off. Personally, I'd rather start right away - the boredom is driving me insane.
My results came out on 11th of July (the day that also happened to be my birthday - more on that later, too), and I did quite well - apparently, by uni standards, my results were exceptional. High Distinctions all around, except for Maths, in which I almost scraped a Distinction, but not quite - a credit, at 67 out of 100. Other results were Games Studio 1: 86, Web3D: 88 (which really caught me off guard - my exam must've been near-perfect), and Computing Fundamentals: 94. Apparently a lot of students, even programmers, failed Computing Fundamentals, which stunned me no end - out of all my subjects, I would've thought it was the easiest. The programmers (all of us) have been asked to attend a meeting tommorrow (technically - today, the 14th) to sort things out. It's a break from the boredom so I'm definitely looking forward to it.
As far as my birthday - well it wasn't a massive deal. I didn't arrange anything with friends (and still haven't, but I might for this weekend), so it was just me and my parents. Got some more Stargate to add to my growing collection, some edibles (mmmm), a book I've been after for some time (Matthew Reilly of course - pro author, and I'd call this book, Hover Car Racer, his best work), and a new monitor (something I've desperately needed for some time - my old one was falling to pieces). Also had dinner out at a small seafood joint just up the road - quite a tasty meal. And... that was my birthday. The one thing I'm really thankful for is I was wrong - I didn't have classes on that day.
As for why I haven't called Brad, well that's something personal which I haven't revealed on here before, but which I think I need to. I have, I believe, phonophobia - a fear of telephones. It sounds ridiculous but I believe it to be accurate. I don't have a fear of the telephone itself as a physical object - I don't walk into an electronics shop, see a cordless phone, and run out screaming in fear :P It's nothing like that. My fear is more of talking to strangers on the telephone. It's not a fear of strangers, at least not by itself - I am far more comfortable speaking to strangers in person than on the phone. Even when it is someone I know, like Brad's parents, I am still nervous. Just the thought of asking them if I could talk to him makes me nervous. Speaking to someone I do not know on the phone is a positively terrifying thought. I can do it, when absolutely necessary, but it puts an extreme psychological stress on me. On one occasion, I had to call a university to reject their place for accomodation. My parents pushed me into doing it - they wouldn't (they know I'm nervous about the idea, but they don't know how deep the fear runs). That day, I considered suicide. Which is insane - a choice between making a phone call, and suicide?! Purely stupid. But at the time, it was deadly serious - I would've rather died than made that call. In the end, I did make the call - I was under a time limit, and there was no other option. But the memory of that day is still a source of fear to me. I don't mind speaking to certain people - my friends, my parents. Other people I know I'm slightly nervous about, but strangers are the ultimate problem. I don't even answer the phone at home, ever, unless caller ID tells me it's either my friends or my parents. It is a serious problem, and I'll need to get over it to get in the workforce, or to live alone. I just don't know how.
My holidays were predictably boring - I spent virtually all the time at home alternating between Diablo 2, UT2004, and my collection of Stargate DVDs. I did on one occasion go out with some of the Seven (actually Six, for future reference - Xeon-Dingo is not a games student, despite my initial belief. Five if you don't count me). Had a great time that day - I felt a little bit left out at first, but soon I got into the swing of things. Also I went over to Brad's house one weekend - the first time in quite a while. Had a great time that day - I feel like it revived a friendship that may have otherwise died out. However, I haven't called lately - I'll explain why later. Other than those two great social events, however, my holidays were generally boring. Nonetheless, semester 2 has begun, so I'm not so bored anymore. I got in contact with the Five again at a lecture on Monday - we had lunch together, despite being kicked out of a cafe for some miscellaneous and completely unknown reason (something to do with tables, and takeaway... my parents seem to know what it is, but they can't explain it and have it make sense). Nonetheless, we intend to get together for our one and only Games Studio 2 assignment.
For the moment, I'm still sort of on holidays, despite semester 2 having already started. CS (computer science) subjects don't start until week 2, and apparently all my subjects are CS-based, so I get an extra week off. Personally, I'd rather start right away - the boredom is driving me insane.
My results came out on 11th of July (the day that also happened to be my birthday - more on that later, too), and I did quite well - apparently, by uni standards, my results were exceptional. High Distinctions all around, except for Maths, in which I almost scraped a Distinction, but not quite - a credit, at 67 out of 100. Other results were Games Studio 1: 86, Web3D: 88 (which really caught me off guard - my exam must've been near-perfect), and Computing Fundamentals: 94. Apparently a lot of students, even programmers, failed Computing Fundamentals, which stunned me no end - out of all my subjects, I would've thought it was the easiest. The programmers (all of us) have been asked to attend a meeting tommorrow (technically - today, the 14th) to sort things out. It's a break from the boredom so I'm definitely looking forward to it.
As far as my birthday - well it wasn't a massive deal. I didn't arrange anything with friends (and still haven't, but I might for this weekend), so it was just me and my parents. Got some more Stargate to add to my growing collection, some edibles (mmmm), a book I've been after for some time (Matthew Reilly of course - pro author, and I'd call this book, Hover Car Racer, his best work), and a new monitor (something I've desperately needed for some time - my old one was falling to pieces). Also had dinner out at a small seafood joint just up the road - quite a tasty meal. And... that was my birthday. The one thing I'm really thankful for is I was wrong - I didn't have classes on that day.
As for why I haven't called Brad, well that's something personal which I haven't revealed on here before, but which I think I need to. I have, I believe, phonophobia - a fear of telephones. It sounds ridiculous but I believe it to be accurate. I don't have a fear of the telephone itself as a physical object - I don't walk into an electronics shop, see a cordless phone, and run out screaming in fear :P It's nothing like that. My fear is more of talking to strangers on the telephone. It's not a fear of strangers, at least not by itself - I am far more comfortable speaking to strangers in person than on the phone. Even when it is someone I know, like Brad's parents, I am still nervous. Just the thought of asking them if I could talk to him makes me nervous. Speaking to someone I do not know on the phone is a positively terrifying thought. I can do it, when absolutely necessary, but it puts an extreme psychological stress on me. On one occasion, I had to call a university to reject their place for accomodation. My parents pushed me into doing it - they wouldn't (they know I'm nervous about the idea, but they don't know how deep the fear runs). That day, I considered suicide. Which is insane - a choice between making a phone call, and suicide?! Purely stupid. But at the time, it was deadly serious - I would've rather died than made that call. In the end, I did make the call - I was under a time limit, and there was no other option. But the memory of that day is still a source of fear to me. I don't mind speaking to certain people - my friends, my parents. Other people I know I'm slightly nervous about, but strangers are the ultimate problem. I don't even answer the phone at home, ever, unless caller ID tells me it's either my friends or my parents. It is a serious problem, and I'll need to get over it to get in the workforce, or to live alone. I just don't know how.
posted by Xono at
10:02 pm
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